Hey lovely,
Happy fake Monday, or slow Tuesday if you are returning to work after a long holiday weekend. If you are like me logging into work tomorrow is a task you have to do but not something you are excited about. I have no way to make that feeling disappear, but I have music to keep me going, so that is my offering to you today.
I am still noodling on what I want this lil newsletter to look/feel/smell and taste like but for now, I have these sporadic things I wanted to share with you. Namely….the only song other than Tasha Cobbs's “Get Up” that can turn my day around which is DG Yola’s “I Ain’t Goin Let Up”.
It has never failed me in my times of need.
You’re welcome!
On Loneliness:
My loneliness and grief rattled me Sunday night after a weekend of seeing friends and spending time with myself. It made me realize that my body has and will always grow around/with my grief, making the embodied reminder of the thing stunning. I never see it coming but my grief finds me, sits me down, and asks me if I want the old versions of myself. Saying no to my shadows is easy these days but it still requires me to accept that I am moving further away from what I thought my life would look like.
I have many years of knowing and loving under my belt to remind me that I won’t always feel alone, but I wanted to say it out loud to not let my loneliness speak for me when I least expect it.
I’m going into the summer without a big friend group but with best friends and loved ones all across the country who love me in ways that I didn’t know possible. For this kind of love and reassurance, I’d give up those past lives time and time again.
Here are things on the internet that helped me shake off the weight of my loneliness.
-The Psychology of Your 20s Podcast on Loneliness on Apple and Spotify
-My favorite TikTok about loneliness that has stuck with me since I saw it
-Octavia Butler’s Earthseed Tenet brings me back to myself:
“All that you touch You Change. All that you Change, Changes you. The only lasting truth is Change. God is Change.”
A Love Note to Geminis:
I have never met a Gemini I didn’t love or admire. That’s it. K BYE!
& a reminder that black people are the only reason I stick around on the internet.
See you in the streets,